Parents & Students Relationship
Your child is going off to College, Great they are making that big move. Now is the question; what should the parent do? Solid parent, student relationship is a good relation to have. But how to define a; “Good relationship?” Being supportive, but not controlling or a burden is the best way. Developing a solid support while cutting the strings is what is needed, and yes, that is easier said than done.
When a child goes to college, they are stepping into a new world. It is not like the real world adults know, but it is different than the world they have known. So yes, be there for them. Calling everyday is not a good thing, but once to twice a week is better. Being a shoulder to cry on is good as well. Students will have bad days, or issues that will make them upset. Let them get it off their chest. If they are very busy, use emails to communicate, as they can respond as they have time, and get their work done. Keep in touch, and be there for them, but do not burden their time.
What to ask, and Not To Ask
When talking to them, ask general questions. If they want to say more, they will. Remember, they are working in their own lives, and want to be treated this way. Ask questions that show interest, but not digging into their lives. “Did you hear anything interesting this week?”, is an example. Not, “Do you have a good roommate?”, as that could be very embarrassing, especially if the roommate is close by.
In todays technological world, there are a lot of threats. When warnings are given, make them real, and direct. Images and words on Facebook and myspace are permanent, and can be damaging. Proper use of credit/debit cards, as so they do not get into financial problems. Drugs and alcohol use, and the dangers of them. The occasional drink is ok, but bingeing can lead to a lot of issues, especially for young women.
Support by Trust
In developing a good relationship, the best overall piece of advice is to support them with trust. Give the essentials, but do not over do it. If the child was raised right, that will stick with them, and little else will be needed. College is hard, and the student knows they have a team back home tat is rooting for them, is one of the best things. This will allow them to come to the parent when they need help, or have a problem. And feel safe in doing so.